Cold House Journal

It continues to be the Winter That Wasn’t here in New England.  This newspaper notice, sent over from by friends in Vermont, pretty much sums it up.

I just have to mention, today someone stumbled on this blog after Googling the phrase “used rubber hot water bottles”.  No joke.  I had never thought of employing soiled condoms for that purpose.  I’m not sure it’s a good idea, either.  This blog does not endorse the idea.

I’ve been kind of hiding from everyone here, because until the past couple days it’s been embarrassingly warm, inside and out.  I’m not quite sure the “cold house” moniker is really even going to be deserved this winter:  so far since the first fire (which was October 26) we’ve averaged 59.2° in the kitchen area.  It’s early yet, of course, but still that’s about 7° warmer than the overall average for last winter.  Partly, this has been due to a record-warm November, and a not-especially-cold early December.  Also it’s been very sunny, mostly, and Treemagedon has resulted in more sunshine hitting the house.  But in addition to all this I think there has also been a little more wood burned than would have been the case under similar circumstances in the past.

But, at last, some wintry weather has arrived.  The past couple nights it’s dropped down to about 10°F outside, and 46° in the kitchen in the morning.  The bedroom, right now at dinnertime, is 50°, so it should be in the 40′s by bedtime (good sleeping!)  It feels like we might be able to hold on to our claim of being slightly unusual for another winter.  And of course, there’s only so much wood in the shed (about 1.2 cords dry, I’m guesstimating) so there’s only so much heating that can be done.

By the way, Treemagedon is complete.  Much more work than I’d anticipated, but all the Norway maples have been eradicated from my property, along with two dead cherries.  Split by hand (yeah!) this produced about 2 cords… stacked and waiting for 2012/13… and maybe 2013/14…  Meanwhile, my backyard looks sort of like the scene in the Lorax after all the Truffula trees are cut down and the Thneed factories close up.  But not to fear– replanting will commence in the spring!

Since the freakishly warm weather continues, there is almost nothing on-topic to report at the moment.  So, I’m sharing this photo-essay about using firewood as decor.  I love all of these!  Especially the one with the painted logs… which reminds me of writing numbers on the wood… which is not something I would ever do, of course.

(P.S.  I did restack the pile that fell over, and then built another even longer one, and still there is more wood coming from Treemagedon.  Three more fellings and the property will be Norway-maple-free.)

In the oft-quoted words of Frost, “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall, that wants it down.”In this case, I have a strong suspicion that the “something” has four paws, whiskers, and a fluffy tail. I have no hard evidence, but from the way it toppled, it looks like the something was swaying or pulling it over from the top.  (“I could say ‘elves’,” said Frost, “but it’s not elves exactly.”  Exactly, Max?)

Or of course it could just be that, as I said, the pile was subpar, and not up to Virgo standards.

Thoreau quoted his plow-driver as saying that wood is a fuel that warms you twice.  This does not take into account the possibility of having to re-build your wood pile… thrice may suffice.

There hasn’t been much to tell you about lately, because it’s been unseasonably warm.  Today I read that it has, in fact, been the warmest November on record here in Maine.  The grass is still green, which is creepy.  Some dandelions are coming out.  Maybe there will be more to write about if summer ever ends.

Project Norway Maple Eradication (aka Treemagedon) has begun!  My “back 40″ (or more accurately, back 0.2) is chock full of Norways, and they are doing their best to take over the front 40, too.  And the neighbors yards, and the garden, and the rest of the world.  Ever since I bought the house, I’ve been scheming their demise– yesterday, the work began.

Arborist Kelly Palomera (who doesn’t have a website, or I’d send you to her) came with ropes and spikes and stuff, and friend Frank (aka icerabbit) very generously spent the whole day here working too (with his own chainsaw!)  The destruction proceeded at a pretty good clip, and we got about half of the trees down, limbed, and logged by sunset.  More work next weekend.

Next year’s firewood piling up!  I plan to replant the area with native hardwoods– sugar maple, red maple, or both.

Here are a couple fun new toys at the Cold House.  Neither is really going to save much fuel, I think, but sometimes you buy toys just for… fun?

The first is a moisture meter (a Christmas gift from my brother & sister-in-law, which I just got around to putting to use.)  These are only about $35– not “contractor grade”, but very functional.  It’s pretty fun to just walk around the house measuring the moisture of this and that.  You know, see which cat is drier, etc.   Also it makes cool Star Trek-like beeps, with frequency proportionate to moisture level (so that even the blind can use it) (or you can use it in the dark?)   Anyway, the real point was to monitor the moisture of home-cured firewood, with the aim to “burn no wood before its time”.  If you buy “seasoned” firewood, this would also be very handy– you could confirm that the wood was dry before you accept delivery of it.  I’m pleased to report that the maple we felled spring of 2010 is now down around 13% moisture, and the wood that came down later last summer is about 16%. This is all good to go!  As you can see, my finger is not yet ready to burn.

Next, allow me to introduce you to the Toasty Tush.  This is, basically, a low-wattage heating pad that affixes under the lid of your toilet, and warms the seat when the lid is down (also warms your back, if you’re sitting on the seat.)  At $45, it’s far cheaper than toilet seats with built-in heaters.  Why would anyone need a heated toilet seat at all?  Well, I don’t really claim to understand this.  I am told that as a man, I never will.  But suffice to say, the cold toilet seat was the #1 complaint from others around the Cold House.  So, we’re trying it out.  Here it is in action:It has three settings; the middle one is about 20 watts (though it cycles on and off, so it might be more like 10-15W overall).  To further counter its electric usage, I plugged it in via my digital timer/thermostat:I have it set so it’s off overnight.  During the day, it turns on only if the bathroom temp drops below 60°F.  So far, we haven’t had a really good cold spell to give it a full test.  But it seems to work pretty well.  And if warming one square foot of the house lets you turn down the heat on all the rest, well, that’s a good plan.  Arguably, it will take forever to actually pay for itself, unless we start burning oil again.  But I figure it will use less than 5 cents of electricity per day, so it’s not going to break the bank, either.

This little summary of the “plusses and minuses” of living in New England made me laugh.  Especially the part about “Eight months a year of icy hell, virtually entombing you in a pre-modern lifestyle of woodchopping and indoor-huddling.”  Ha ha ha!  No one chops wood for heat anymore!

Some of the rest of it is accurate, though.  I indeed have friends who regularly spot a black bear in their yard.  There is skiing (though perhaps that should be in quotes, I mean compared to Utah and Colorado).  There is indeed foliage and maple and apples.  It is not necessarily true, however, that you can easily buy maple syrup everywhere– many parts of the country strongly favor the imitation version (and try finding Grade B syrup in Florida or Arizona… what?  You’ve never had Grade B syrup?  You need to visit New England more often…)